By Your Side
by lookonthebrighterside
Summary: When the worst thing happens, where can you go? A Future!Seblaine fanfiction. M for character death.
1. Chapter 1

This is my next Seblaine project! It's four parts, already done, and I'll be uploading them as I get reviews, just because I'm evil. They're short, angsty, and to the point. Also, beware character death. If that's too much for you, turn back now.

The clock ticked slowly and the silence in the room seemed to almost expand. The two boys were both stiff, uncomfortable, and their eyes kept darting toward each other and then toward the door. It was like a frightening and repetitive dance, just waiting.

That's all they seemed to do anymore. They woke up, and waited for Sebastian's next "attack", as the doctor's called it. They went to doctor's appointments and waited to find out what was wrong. Three long weeks of waiting and worrying, never knowing what was going on, and silent prayers that it was something that could be fixed.

Blaine sighed heavily, standing up and going over to the bed. He lowered the side, making it easier for him to sit on the edge, and took Sebastian's hand in his. Green eyes met hazel and a small smile formed on Sebastian's lips. It was almost forced, but Blaine could see it in his eyes.

"No matter what, I'll be right here." he promised softly, lifting the hand to his lips, brushing a soft kiss against his knuckles.

Before Sebastian could reply, the door clicked open and they both turned toward it immediately. It was like any warmth that had seeped into the room at the small exchange was instantly leeched away as the doctor entered. He was a perfectly nice person, but Blaine couldn't help his angry thoughts. Whatever he was about to say to the two of them would make or break the man on the bed and it was too much.

"I'm sorry," he started quietly, hands clasped in front of him, an apologetic look on his face.

Blaine heard bits and pieces of the conversation from there.

Surprisingly, Sebastian held it together long enough to talk to the doctor about his condition. If he had focused, Blaine would have been able to understand, but all he heard was 'cancer', 'spreading', 'not much time', and he had to tune everything out until the doctor's figure was retreating back out of the door.

A gentle squeeze to his hand made him look up. There were tears in his eyes, mirroring Sebastian's in that moment. There were no words spoken as Blaine adjusted himself to lay down on the bed, his arms wrapped around Sebastian now. The crying was silent, but it shook Blaine to his core and he knew he had meant what he said;

No matter how much time was left, or what was going to happen, he was going to be here. Right here, holding him, protecting him. If that meant laying in a hospital, running his hands through his hair, unable to comfort him in any other way, then that's what he would do.


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine took a deep breath, pulling out the desk chair and taking a seat. The computer lit up as soon as he hit the power button, going through the short loading process to bring him to the homepage. Looking around the library, he made sure no one was near him as he opened an internet window.

He didn't know what had compelled him to do this. It was a stupid idea, and it was only going to upset him in public, but when Sebastian's doctors had come to take him for some tests, Blaine just couldn't help himself. He had grabbed his things and headed for the library down the street. It would have taken too long to get home and back before Sebastian was done, and he didn't want to be gone when they got him back to his room.

The Google window popped up and he quickly typed in two simple words;

Lung Cancer

85,000,000 results

He nearly choked as he tried to catch his breath, holding back the tears that threatened to burst forward. He found the first link, clicking it, and looked around as he waited for it to load.

The first sentence that caught his eye made his heart drop into his stomach.

Lung cancer is the deadliest type of cancer for both men and women. Each year, more people die of lung cancer than of breast, colon, and prostate cancers combined.

He forced himself to scroll down, reading through the symptoms and wishing he had noticed. There was an entire page of things that could have clued them in earlier. Any number of these things had happened to Sebastian and they simply ignored them or didn't notice.

He continued scrolling, finding a list of things that hadn't happened yet, but apparently would.

Bone pain or tenderness

Eyelid drooping

Facial paralysis

Hoarseness or changing voice

Joint pain

Nail problems

Shoulder pain

Swallowing difficulty

Swelling of the face or arms

Weakness

He closed the window, not even bothering to clear the browser history as he jumped up from the desk and ran out of the library. He didn't care who saw him anymore as the tears ran down his face. He made it outside, the cold November wind slamming into him and causing him to lose his breathe. Leaning back against the wall, he buried his face in his hands as he sobbed.

His mind flashed back to a year ago, when everything had fallen apart for the first time. It seemed so silly now, no matter how real and upsetting it had been then. They had wasted so much time fighting, spent so many nights apart. Had Blaine known this day would come, he never would have been angry. He would have forgiven Sebastian sooner, maybe the same day, because he wanted that time back. He wanted it so desperate that it was a physical aching in his chest that was swallowing him whole.

Because really, how was one drunken night of cheating, that tore Sebastian apart later, going to compare to losing him forever? How could Blaine care about a mistake that was so deeply regretted and so intensely made up for, when he only had weeks left?

He forced the thoughts from his mind, knowing he had to calm down and get back to the hospital. If Sebastian knew he had left, he'd worry, and that was the last thing he needed.

He arrived at the hospital, getting back to Sebastian's room, with just minutes to spare. He had barely sat down, pulling out a book to pretend he had been there the whole time, when the door opened. Looking up, he was appalled at the sight before him.

Sebastian had his arm around a nurse, face pale and eyes drooping. His mouth was twisted into an ugly grimace and Blaine could tell he was angry. He definitely hadn't looked this sick when they had taken him back, Blaine was sure of it.

"What happened?" Blaine asked as he jumped up, setting the book in his vacated seat. They ignored him until she tucked Sebastian back under the covers.

"He didn't take well to the dye they injected before his x-ray." she told him, her face giving way to how bad it had already been.

Blaine immediately went to his side, taking his hand. "Are you alright?" he asked him, brushing the hair away from his forehead. He was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and he looked like he was going to be sick at any moment.

"Yeah. That damn thing they put in my IV… It was fucking horrible." he mumbled, rolling his eyes.

Blaine smiled slightly. "At least it wasn't so bad that it took away your terrible language." he commented, provoking a smile from Sebastian and the nurse both.

"The doctor will be here to check on him soon and explain some things." she told Blaine, smiling gently. She left them without another word and Blaine looked at Sebastian seriously.

"How bad was it?" he asked softly, almost afraid of the answer.

Sebastian looked down at the sheets and Blaine noticed the tightness in his jaw; he was stressed. It was always a sure sign.

"Blaine…" he started quietly, looking up at him at last. The tears in his eyes were enough warning for Blaine; this wasn't good news. "It's spreading. They say it's going to just take over, and it's too far along for them to stop." he whispered, crying now.

Blaine closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to control himself. Nodding slowly, he looked back at him. "How much time?" he asked, his voice cracking against his will.

"Two weeks? Maybe?"

It was like the entire world had fallen onto Blaine's shoulders. He had to force himself not to fall to his knees, burying his face in his hands and weeping. He held onto Sebastian's hand, reminding himself to be strong.

Sebastian; his love and his life. His stronghold. The rock on which he had based his entire existence for the last three years. The person he was so dependent on, and needed so desperately.

And in two weeks, he'd be gone.

"Blaine," Sebastian started, drawing Blaine's attention from his dark thoughts. "Listen to me," he whispered, pulling him to sit on the bed. Blaine followed without thought, feeling numb and cold all at once. Sebastian's hands framed his face and their foreheads rested against each other, eyes locked.

"Don't give up when I'm gone." Sebastian pleaded. "You have too much to do, too much to see and accomplish." he continued, crying now. "I can't leave this world without knowing you'll keep living."

Blaine was sobbing silently, his hands covering Sebastian's in an effort to hold him there, as if that would change their situation. "I don't know how…" he whispered.

Sebastian shook his head, pulling him back but not moving his hands. "You go home. You pack up my things and you give them away. You move. You focus on work. You live." he instructed seriously. "I need you to live for me, okay?" he pleaded.

Blaine looked at him for a long time before nodded.

Pulling him closer again, Sebastian kissed him. It wasn't desperate or crazed; it was soft, gentle, and comforting. It was what Blaine needed and Sebastian knew it was all he could give now.

But it wasn't enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Each day passed slowly for Blaine, and he was grateful for that. He very rarely left the hospital, showering in Sebastian's private restroom and only running home to grab clothes when Sebastian was asleep. He spent all of his time beside the bed, talking, reading, and trying his hardest to seem positive.

It was hard. It was probably the most acting he had ever done in his life and during a phone call to Kurt one day, he laughed for the first time two weeks.

"Anyone will hire you as an actor now." Kurt teased lightly. The worry and uncertainty was obvious in his voice, but Blaine could tell he was trying not to let it show.

He appreciated the effort and let out a real, albeit soft, laugh. "You're probably right there." he agreed quietly.

"Blaine, I'm so sorry." Kurt said after a moment of silence. Blaine said nothing, no words coming to him. "I know it isn't much, but I'll be there for you, if you want."

Blaine took a deep breath, pushing back tears as he tried to form a response. "Thank you, Kurt."

They had a distorted relationship ever since Sebastian came into their lives, but there was a bond there that no one could replace and Blaine knew he was going to need Kurt after… Well, everything. It was like a tiny bit of the weight he was carrying around was lifted upon realizing that he'd actually have him.

The door clicked open then and he sighed. "They're back. I have to go." he said as they rolled Sebastian's bed back into the room.

In just two weeks, Sebastian had become so weak that he couldn't even get up to walk. He had to be wheeled everywhere, and could hardly feed himself. Blaine had taken over all tasks that the nurses would allow him to do, including sponge baths at Sebastian's loud and angry request. Something about not wanting anyone seeing him naked that didn't have to.

It didn't matter; Blaine would do whatever he wanted, no matter what.

Sebastian's eyes opened sleepy, revealing how bloodshot they were. Blaine took a moment too look over his face, noticing how pale he was. His cheeks were sunken in from the way he had been starving himself, too sick to eat most of the time. His hair was flat and nearly lifeless, but when he smiled…

The room lit up. It was like a flame had been ignited behind his face as he looked at Blaine and it absolutely broke Blaine's heart.

"Hey…" he said weakly, his voice cracking as he held out a hand to Blaine once they had his bed in place.

Moving toward the bed, he took Sebastian's hand, kissing the back of it lightly. "Was it okay?" he asked him.

Sebastian nodded. "Nothing new. Nothing's changed." he said, keeping it simple. He had a hard time with long winded speeches now, having to stop often to catch his breath. He had tried to yell at a nurse about his IV the day before and they had to give him multiple breathing treatments. Ever since, Blaine made him keep his words short and simple.

"I love you," Blaine whispered, kissing him softly.

"Love you too," he replied, his eyes already drifting shut.

Blaine took his regular seat, Sebastian's hand in his, and set his book on the edge of the bed, reading and waiting.

Always waiting.


	4. Chapter 4

Tears ran freely from Blaine's face as he sat in the lawn chair, tuning out the people around him in favorite of the voices in his head.

'You can't come in here.'

'We need you to leave, Mr. Anderson.'

'Family only.'

And then the words he was never meant to hear.

'His lung is punctured. We're going to have to open him up.'

It hadn't been anything big. A simple coughing fit. They had dealt with it a million times, and yet this time… This time it had been too much. He remembered the doctor telling a nurse that Sebastian's bones were simply too fragile. His body couldn't handle the intensity, causing a rib to break.

There had been time. So much time. A week at most, if not more.

And yet here Blaine was, at the funeral. A funeral he had been graciously allowed to plan, given that the doctors wouldn't speak to him the entire time his world was crashing down around him.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Anderson, but we simple can't tell you." the doctor said, only managing to make Blaine angrier.

"He's my fiance!" he screamed in return, not caring who was watching him now.

The doctor shook his head sadly. "You're not married and you're not related. Until a family member comes, we can't release information." His face was solemn, void of emotion, giving Blaine no clues or hints.

It had been twelve hours since they had forced Blaine out of the room, leaving him clueless and terrified, his mind finding the worse possibilities and clinging to them. Twelve horrible hours that he would never forget.

A hand touched his shoulder and he looked up, seeing Kurt beside him. "It's your turn." he whispered, smiling encouragingly.

Blaine stood shakily, his breathe coming out in soft puffs in the cold air surrounding him. The podium was empty, the casket closed beside it, flowers piled on top like a living monument to Sebastian's memory.

Touching the lid softly, he let a silent tear fall before stepping behind the microphone and looking out to the crowd before him.

"I was seventeen years old." he started, having absolutely no plan. Kurt had suggested he go with his feelings, and that's exactly what he was doing now. "I was seventeen years old when I met the love of my life. He was everything to me, but just like any other couple, we had our problems. That's not uncommon, but something always pulled us back together. There was nothing in the world that could separate us." he continued, his eyes dropping to the wooden surface beneath his gloved hands as more tears fell. "He was beautiful, in every way. He loved so freely and with such intensity, and I know, no matter where I go or what happens now, he'll always be with me. I pray that, wherever he is, he's better and happy, because as long as he's smiling, I can go on."

Warm arms wrapped around his shoulders as he cried, leading him somewhere. He didn't bother looking up as he covered his face with his hands, knowing Kurt's embrace anywhere and trusting him.

The air turned warm and he finally looked up to see they were inside the church. Pulling him into a pew, Kurt hugging Blaine tightly and for the first time since he had discovered what was wrong with Sebastian, Blaine allowed himself to truly cry.

He let the emotion overcome him, swallow him whole, and bleed out of him. He let the tears trail hot and heavy down his face as he shook with uncontrollable sobs.

He was alone. The only thing he had that meant anything was lost to him and he was completely and utterly alone. The moment he processed the thought was the moment he realized what he had to do.

_Kurt,_

_One day, you're going to meet your soulmate. I know you're rolling your eyes, but I promise it's true, and you'll know when it happens. When he touches you, it'll be like your body is on fire. When he kisses you, it won't just be fireworks; whole planets will explode. You're going to find him and you'll never question that it's right. Through the fights and the anger and the tears, it'll always be him. He'll always be yours, and you'll always be his. _

_Don't let anything separate you for even a moment. Don't let arguments and problems destroy what you have. Because maybe he's not perfect, and neither are you, but you are two halves of one whole and you need each other. _

_One day, he'll be gone. It'll feel like the end of the world. But I want you to go on living. Remember what you had. Remember the things you shared with the one person in world who could love you the way you deserved to be loved. _

_Remember everything and keep living. Because that's what he would want. Always remember that._

_-Blaine_

Kurt read the note for the tenth time before picking up the picture of Blaine's new house in California. It was quiet, small, and so very Blaine and Kurt was proud of him. He was proud that Blaine was living, because he was right; That's what Sebastian would have wanted.


End file.
